tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8769422818884449767.post7141951771816572832..comments2010-09-21T00:27:30.978-07:00Comments on Musings of Abbie: Just another day... a MatadorU assignmentAbbiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07026687368477638538noreply@blogger.comBlogger8125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8769422818884449767.post-33463281821419882832009-10-12T21:29:20.348-07:002009-10-12T21:29:20.348-07:00Hey Abbie. Just wanted to let you know I let you a...Hey Abbie. Just wanted to let you know I let you a little love on my blog www.nancythegnomette.com :)Nancyhttp://www.nancythegnomette.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8769422818884449767.post-7961701876760699962009-10-12T18:04:14.839-07:002009-10-12T18:04:14.839-07:00Geeeeez! That must have been a terrible thing to w...Geeeeez! That must have been a terrible thing to witness. :( You make me want to have a dog again...I like this assignment!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8769422818884449767.post-64149750202231783922009-10-12T17:13:04.172-07:002009-10-12T17:13:04.172-07:00I'm a dog lover myself (one who has also dropp...I'm a dog lover myself (one who has also dropped the leash in the past). I could definitely relate to the helplessness of seeing your dog running towards danger and knowing you can't chase, but willing with all your might for her to just stop running. And yes, sorry for poor Chilli.<br /><br />I was going to mention the tenses, but just read the rest of the comments. Yes, I too find it tough to stay in the same tense sometimes(!) Enjoyed the story...it brought back visions of my time in So Cal. :-)Stevenhttp://www.deuxbiciclette.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8769422818884449767.post-27435565874725991902009-10-10T13:49:31.674-07:002009-10-10T13:49:31.674-07:00Oh my. I'm so sorry about your dog Chilli. Tha...Oh my. I'm so sorry about your dog Chilli. That must have been so hard. But, I'm so glad that Sadie's alright. (You actually taught me something in how to deal with a dog running off.)<br /><br />Looking forward to reading more of your posts and assignments!Nancyhttp://www.nancythegnomette.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8769422818884449767.post-72572568064727309792009-10-09T11:48:15.892-07:002009-10-09T11:48:15.892-07:00Rob - yes, I kind of have a complex about it now :...Rob - yes, I kind of have a complex about it now :/<br />Nick - Thanks for the feedback - I went back and realized I did mix up the tenses some, it's hard to write in just present tense!<br />Richard - Thanks for your feedback, too - my original intention was to just talk about my day, but it would be a bonus to add in a message :)Abbiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07026687368477638538noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8769422818884449767.post-62968856401210198792009-10-09T10:40:57.910-07:002009-10-09T10:40:57.910-07:00"so yes, Robert’s mom, you do need to come pi..."so yes, Robert’s mom, you do need to come pick him up." made me chuckle! I would suggest possibly trying to rework the transition from your current dog to the one that died, so that it almost just slides from the one memory to the other more gently, without the transition sentences:<br /><br />" start chasing her while screaming her name and that’s when the flashback happens. Four years ago we moved to California with a dog named Chilli. "<br /><br />I like the way you end by realising that chasing will get you nowhere. You need to stop and then Sadie will come back to you. I wonder if you couldn't work some larger idea/lesson into the story around that theme, which would give more punch to that realisation at the end.Richardhttp://www.wheretheroadgoes.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8769422818884449767.post-57807332294854211452009-10-09T06:24:42.298-07:002009-10-09T06:24:42.298-07:00Oh no! I'm glad that Sadie didn't suffer t...Oh no! I'm glad that Sadie didn't suffer the same fate as poor Chilli. I think this is a nice story, with some cool touches. I can totally relate to the way you are waking up in the morning, and I love the little bit of humour when you are talking about Robert's mom.<br /><br />I thought the tenses were a bit confused in places: you jump between past and present when talking about the day. Also, I didn't quite understand the reference to the leash colour. Are you saying that if Sadie's leash was a distinct colour, you wouldn't have dropped it?<br /><br />Overall, I enjoyed the story, and it feels very genuine. Nice one!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8769422818884449767.post-37770187482396664722009-10-07T22:34:10.384-07:002009-10-07T22:34:10.384-07:00Ahh what a sad thing to happen to poor Chilli :-( ...Ahh what a sad thing to happen to poor Chilli :-( The nature of dogs running off must always have you worried now.AdventureRobhttp://www.adventurerob.comnoreply@blogger.com